I’m at a crossroads in my life… I have let God take control and sometimes I feel lost with His plan and others I feel strong in the way He is guiding me. A few months ago I had clear direction in my business life. I had a feeling of being pushed into school again as a physical therapist assistant. It seemed as if everything was leading me to that direction and now I am lost with that decision. Does God lead us to a decision then back track or is that me second guessing His plan? I would continue my personal training business if I were to go back to school. I just CAN’T imagine going back at this point in my life, it scares the heck out of me.
I guess I just feel lost in life at this moment… Do you ever feel that way? I have been having some really hard times with my ex and I think that has made me question things. I have been completely content with not having a man in my life. Again, leaving it in God’s hands to bring me someone when He is ready for me to be loved. Well the good ole’ ex just decided to unintentionally rub it in my face and tell me that he can’t believe I am not dating someone and that my clock is ticking! What the?!?!?! lol Okay, Im no spring chicken but come on now! Anyway, I think his words have made me feel lonely and lost in my personal life. I have this aching feeling of wanting to share my life with someone and have the above scripture be true in my life…Not only have I not snagged a guy but my besties and I just don’t hang out like we used too. Maybe this is God’s way of nudging me to be a little more persistent in my guy scouting? or to actually scout because, let’s face it, I haven’t been…haha.. Also, another thing is my daughter. I have been having a really hard time with being a single parent. I find myself, frustrated and resenting the fact that my ex has NO idea how hard this is. He offered to take her more when I needed it and I just broke down.. haha emotional girl stuff I guess. My beautiful munchkin is a handful at the age of 2.5 and sometimes I just give in to her because I’m just plain tired of fighting. Sigh….. However, her smile and laugh bring the most joy to my life than I could EVER imagine! How can a child be so magically horrific and chaotically divine at the same time
I have realized lately that I kinda have missed out on a big part of my life. The adventurous side! I have always been an outdoorsy sort of girl but my ex was NOT! haha. Now I have Addison and I just don’t make the time…. I have been watching these documentaries that show people hiking the Appalachian Trail etc and I so want to do something like that! I mean, I know it will never be to that extent but at least go hiking, camping, boating etc like I love to do! I sometimes let my daughter hold me back but I just need to let her experience these things with me! How much fun would she have?!?! I loved being a kid and my mom would let us explore the 10 acres we lived on, go swimming in the river or go hiking at Mount Scott! The most memorable times were growing up in good ole’ Ardmore, OK 😉 So, I believe I will begin this part of my life now… I’m sure you will begin to hear about it very soon!
My work is staying busy but I had to back off from the blog and daily workouts. I was getting overwhelmed, something I do very easily… I have had a lot more time for the things I need to do and hope to start posing videos for you all as we have talked about before. I think the videos will be very helpful and will be a little less time-consuming for me 🙂 The HARDbody class is still going strong, even through our Texas heat! WOW today was a killer! We plan on finding some shade for our next class 🙂 I am so excited to have such a great class of beautiful women that inspire me to push harder! Training is at an all time high! I love giving the personal attention and love hearing and seeing success stories! Each client has their own story and I am blessed by each one of them!
I am still staying on track with my fitness goals. We have passed our deadline but I still continue to push to get closer to my goal. I am taking each day in stride and am learning everyday about my willpower or lack there of 😉 Somedays are better than others, I guess we all have that, right?
I know, looking in, my life seems pretty ideal. My brother pointed that out to me in a joking matter a few weeks ago and I do know that I have been blessed. I am thankful for all that I have and all that God will give me. Every day has its moments of taking steps forward and some backwards. I take each step to learn about myself and about my God. That’s all that can be expected, I believe